Raven wasn’t exactly clear why he agreed to go flying with Eagle, or if he had even agreed to it in the first place, but there he was at the top of the sky, looking down on the world.
“Lovely, isn’t it?” Eagle asked.
“It’s a little...[gulp]…distant for my taste,” said Raven. “Maybe we could go down a closer to the ground?”
“Don’t be silly,” Eagle said as they soared miles above the earth. “Now tell me: how can I help you?”
“I don’t know exactly,” replied Raven. “Except the world is in a dire strait. Everyone is fighting with everyone. People stare at their phones all the time. The night has lost its day. The in has lost its out. The smoke has lost its salmon!”
Eagle smiled serenely and soared, which is really what he was built for, so…
“Have you ever tried a loop-de-loop?” Eagle asked. And before Raven could answer, they were looping and then de-looping. Raven lost his cookies, thankfully, on the downslope so it didn’t splash on Eagle’s back.
“You good, bro?” Eagle asked.
Raven wiped his mouth.
“They keep stealing women,” Raven said. “The unmourned children continue to go unmourned. The Killer Whales have started killing again because of the Coke bottles stuck in their blowholes. The tides have run amok. The things I have seen! I don’t even know how to begin to fix a problem this big! I give up, Eagle. I give up entirely! Take me to my room!”
Eagle opened his wings and soared through a cloud, hitting Raven in the face with a mouthful of cottony mist.
“I can help you, Raven,” said Eagle. “But only if you want to be helped.”
“Oh, I do want to be helped, I do!” cried Raven.
“Do you agree that I am the syrup to your pancakes?” Eagle asked.
“One hundred percent cruelty-free maple!” howled Raven.
“And who am I to your toast?”
“You must be butter cuz you’re on a roll!”
“And do you agree most of all, Raven, that I am the smoke to your salmon?” Eagle asked, catching a thermal and suddenly leaping higher in the air, so they were ever closer to the top of the sky.
“I agree!” Raven cried after he had caught his breath. “I agree!”
“Then I will help you,” said Eagle. He tucked his wings and they dove.
They dove and they dove. The ground flew at them with shocking intensity. Raven’s cheeks flapped from the G-forces.
And just before they died, Eagle pulled out of the dive by spreading his great wings wide. The two birds alit on the ground with a delicate ease.
Raven climbed off Eagle’s back and promptly puked. He shook the vapor from his crevices and banged his beak against the ground to resettle his brains.
“Do you feel better now?” Eagle asked.
Raven shrugged.
“Now I’m hungry,” he said.
